Exploring Mindful Self-Compassion

I previously took a course in Mindfulness Self-Compassion. Taught through the Program for Faculty Development at McMaster University, the course was for health professionals, but the strategies and teachings are very relatable to all of us in our daily lives. I wanted to share some of the main concepts I found most helpful.

The Power of Self-Compassion: Reacting to Crisis

Here is the scenario: you are heading home from work, and you get a panicked call from a close friend or family member. They are upset and really need your help. How do you react? Maybe you listen calmly and compassionately, offer support, show up with a meal, ask how you can help, give them permission to feel angry, sad, confused.

But what if the crisis was happening to you? How would you talk to yourself? If you are like me, you might think that you don’t have time for a crisis, suggest you “get over it” or minimize it by reflecting on the much larger problems of others. Maybe you would see your own name on the call display roll your eyes, hit “decline” and wonder “ergh, her again!” Wow, what a difference! Self-compassion then can be as simple as affording yourself the same compassion, love and respect that you afford to those around you. Try it!

Embracing the Inner Critic: Understanding and Softening Its Voice

The course also addressed the “inner critic”. This is the internal voice we all have that bully’s us into thinking we are not “good enough, smart enough, fit enough, competent enough” etc. In truth, part of the reason I wanted to take the course in the first place was to try and sucker punch that bully and get her (mine is female) to leave me alone. But the course helped me realize that my critic actually motivates me to complete my goals and by acknowledging that she exists and being open to her presence actually diffused her, softened her approach, and now I find her voice more loving and supportive. Go figure!

Embracing Grace: Allowing Life's Challenges

To close, here is one of my favorite poems from the course: